Never trust a junkie

I’ve been reading that book by Dr. Oz- You: the Owner’s Manual. I’ve gone through it a couple times now. I’m feeling good about it because it has clarified lots of stuff for me about my body and how things work. And why some things don’t. So, at least now I know why I am overweight-ok, that was never a mystery- and how I am staying that way. It talks about overall health and how to improve it. It doesn’t focus on weight.

Not me. I focus on the weight.

So far this year, I have made big life changes. Big for me. First, I am a Diet Coke junkie. I’d like to just be an addict, but I’m a junkie. I drank my last one two months ago and I still think about it EVERY DAY. This leads me to think it has more to do with ‘feeding a need’ than actual addiction to dc.

Addressing the need- learn about my health. Make myself painfully aware of everything I am doing to myself and how destructive that is. Force myself to acknowledge the outrageousness of my actions. Look myself in the mirror and try to tell myself that it’s okay to treat my sons’ mother this way. Change my thinking. Force the issue out of hiding.

Dr. Oz talks about stress and how there are several kinds. The everyday stuff that you can use to help yourself accomplish things and then the kinds that hurt your health: major life events and Nagging Unfinished Tasks (NUTs.) Funny. My life is full of nuts.

Yesterday I awoke determined to deal with some of my nuts. This led me to fix problems with my vacuum cleaner. I love my vacuum cleaner- it’s an intermittent relationship at best, but it’s good to me when I go to it. I research the vacuum on the internet and find a part site for SEARS. I call my local SEARS to see if they have the parts on hand. Later, I type into Google “why is sears staffed with such assholes?” I got my question answered. Later, I explain to my husband as to how my internet researching has improved. That’s great, honey.

I was eight when my dad came home with an air of hostile determination. He didn’t make eye contact with any of us and went straight into the kitchen, picked up a pair of scissors and deliberately cut his SEARS card up into about fifty thin strips. I still remember his face as he did that. Funny the memories that bond me to him these years later.

My vacuum cleaner is running like a dream tonight.
And I didn’t think about dc all day.